I came across the below article while visiting Jane Fonda's website earlier today. Jane was on the Dr. Oz Show & it was hard for me to believe that she will be turning 74 tomorrow (12/21)!
So, I had to Google her!
Jane is gorgeous! I should have looked like Jane when I was 20! Well, not really, but you get my drift. Jane is fit as a fiddle. She spoke of her mother's suicide when she was only 12. While writing her memoirs at age 64, she obtained her mother's medical records and found a notation that her mother was sexually abused when she was 8. This answered many questions for Jane as to "why her mother was the way she was".
It's true when sexually abused, it's not just the body that is harmed, it is also the person as a whole. Their soul robbed of their innocence. You just can't horrendously tinker with a vulnerable soul & think they're still whole & able to grow up undamaged. For me, I was verbally & physically abused (not sexually), and to this very day I carry issues that I shouldn't carry. In fact, my childhood abuse was a topic of discussion earlier today. It affects your life & those around you whether you realize it or not. That's why I've always tried not to judge people too harshly because I have no idea what shoes that person may be walking in.
Jane's mother carried her abuse all through her youth, marriage & motherhood, I don't know why she died by her own hands, but I'm certain her childhood experience had a hand in it.
Anyway, I'm getting a bit carried away here. I saw an article discussing the sexual child abuse at Penn State, and how a blind eye was afforded this monster who in turn abused even more children. For years & years good people said & did nothing. The article, itself, isn't that profound, but I thought I'd post the last couple of paragraphs that give parents an idea on how to protect their children. Protect them without frightening them.
As a mom, I was very much aware who I allowed around my son. There was a family friend, a priest who traveled around the country; and a neighbor, who'd visit & wanted to date me, but seemed to take, I thought, a special interest in my son. Both of these individuals raised the hair on the back of my neck. They said or did nothing that I recall, but there was something that troubled me, & the one thing I know is to listen to my gut. I am hoping that both of those men were innocent and I that quietly over-reacted.
Michael Jackson
What we’ve learned from Penn State
- snip -
The lesson of the past few weeks is speaking out. If you know of someone who is abusing a child, either physically or sexually, take action. If you see it, intervene. It you suspect it, confront them or report it. If you’re not sure about what you are seeing, contact Stop It Now at 1-888-PREVENT or www.stopitnow.org and discuss your next steps. If you hear or witness bullying, speak up against it and teach your children to do the same. Speak out against sexual harassment and take it seriously.
If you have children, “abuse-proof” them. Use Penn State and Syracuse University as a teachable moment. Make sure that the programs your children attend-scouts, soccer, school, church or synagogue-have a strong policy on keeping children safe, including screening and background checks for volunteers and employees and never being alone with children. Make sure that your child knows that most people would never hurt children, but that an older, bigger, stronger person should never touch a child’s genitals. Make sure your child knows that adults don’t ask children to be their friends or keep secrets, and that if someone makes them feel bad, funny, or uncomfortable with their touch or their words, they should tell you. Tell them that their body is wonderful, it belongs to them, and that they can say no to unwanted touch. And finally, tell them to come and tell you if someone does touch them. You may not be able to prevent the first case of abuse, but if your child is equipped with language and this information, you can prevent the second-just like the officials at Penn State could have stopped at least some of these young men from being abused.
When abuse happens, it is never a time to keep silence, but always a time to speak.
Debra Haffner | Nov 22, 2011 7:03 PM
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